Housework always took longer when little hands helped. Before 2017, I usually flipped on a flick while I cooked dinner, then tucked them into bed before I cleaned the kitchen alone. But, with four children age six and under, I was a tired momma looking for rest.
I considered, if I had this little army of potential co-workers around me, why not share the workload? Perhaps if they expected to clean, they’d drop fewer crumbs and make fewer dirt tracks. Perhaps if I took the time to teach them simple cooking, they’d become helpers in the kitchen rather than obstacles.
Anyway, I wanted my children to become responsible servant-hearted people, didn’t I? Yes, I did. Suddenly, my incentive changed from a tactic for my rest to a vision for their personal development. Future adults must learn to cook and sweep and scrub and fold and tidy, after all.
I already had a framework in place for cultivating one skill at a time in my children. By focusing on one area every six months, we had built the habits of reading aloud, getting outside and embracing solitude daily. I figured the best way to add cleaning and cooking to their repertoire was to make it our next six-month focus. So, we spent January to June practicing doing chores regularly and well.
I reeled the children into every task I could. Each morning, my six year old popped and buttered toast while my four year old set the table and my three year old scrambled eggs by my side. After every meal, one swept, one wiped the table and the third washed dishes with me. I taught them to match socks, fold towels and change pillowcases. I instituted a 5 o’clock tidy-up so that the only cleaning up to do after dinner was dinner itself. I coached them, demanding promptness and gently teaching thoroughness. I looked for opportunities to praise them and I always thanked them.
It took time and patience to teach the skills and correct attitudes, but the effort paid off. I cannot claim to have instilled a love for cleaning in them or a desire to pick up their bedrooms voluntarily. But they do volunteer to help cook, they tidy the house quickly without complaint and they sort and put away the week’s clean laundry in ten minutes flat. Cooking goes faster with their help now instead of slower. And, after each meal, they clean the kitchen and dining room themselves while my husband or I do dishes. We finish evening chores quickly and, rather than working into the night, I sit back with a book after tucking them in.
Cleaning our home together has changed our family culture. The kids expect to live in a clean space and they expect to work. As we clean and cook together (often with music playing), we build comradery. Each feels needed as he or she contributes to the well-being of the whole family. Steadily, chores are teaching them diligence and consideration for others. Because I brought them along in the housework, they have a greater sense of responsibility and eye for service.
Read how we do chores nowadays here.
This article was printed in the Winnsboro News in June 2021 as part of the series: Six Months Cultivating Skills, Joys and Habits in Your Children.
How timely for me to come to your blog and find this post! It’s something I’ve put on hold as our family has been in limbo for a few months, moving snd staying with relatives while we waited to move into our new house. Our 3-year-old has forgotten how to tidy up and doesn’t want to help in the kitchen. Now that we are in the new housenIve been getting her to help reluctantly, but reading how you made it a 6 month project is a good reminder to me that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and I need to keep my eye on my vision for what I want our family life to look like. It makes me happy to imagine you sitting back and relaxing after bedtime now, and also to imagine all those little hands helping now. It will definitely serve them later in life. Hope you are doing well!! ~Mary