Husband of pregnant wife: “Honey, can you move around a little less at night. You’re keeping me awake.”
Pregnant wife: “Sweetie, I understand what you are saying and I love you, but let me tell you a few things. I chew two Tums preemptively before I go to bed. Then I give you a kiss and lay down on my left side like the doctor ordered. 5 nights out of 7, heartburn kills that option. So I quietly stack pillows behind my shoulders to sleep sitting up. About that time, baby wakes up (and on nights like tonight, he also gets the hiccups) so I close my eyes and pray for him and for us or think about things like “what if my water broke right now?” until he falls back asleep so that I can fall asleep. But before I can doze off, I realize that I have to pee again, so I get up to go to the bathroom. Before I reenter the bedroom, I consider that I am too awake at this point to fall asleep soon enough to not need to change positions repetitively and wake you, so I go to the living room to read about things like, “What would I do if my water broke right now” and other things baby or play spider solitaire. When I feel sleepy enough, I heat a glass of milk in the microwave to make me even sleepier and fend off heartburn. I stop by the bathroom one more time then sneak in and lay back down hoping- no praying- that baby doesn’t wake back up once I’m horizontal and keep me awake another 20 minutes. I expect to wake again around 4am to revisit the bathroom at which point, I again pray that baby does not wake up and that I can fall back asleep. I’m so thankful you give me regular back rubs, or I’d be dealing with backache too. Sorry hubs. I love you… but I don’t feel sorry for you.” Ha!
I love these two entries!! Hang in there – it won't be long now and you'll be holding him in your arms and admiring how beautiful he is, BUT you'll still be praying that he'll sleep through the night! Haha! 🙂
Hahahahahaha! Loved it! Ahhh the joy of being preggo!~ :)Never been, but have had the chance to be around a lot of pregnant ladies! Some of you are just so witty and funny!Be patient, it's almost over! 🙂