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Some people get in fights and doubly hurt each other because they react to their spouses actions instead of looking at the deeper cause of that action. This is like slapping a horse because it pinned its ears. A wise owner deepens his/her level of thinking and considers the source issue that is causing the horse’s behavior and addresses the issue instead of mindlessly slapping.
My husband is so wise. When a problem arises, before he gets angry, he ponders the position of my heart and considers that the problem at hand may be just a symptom or manifestation of a deeper and maybe even yet-to-be-discovered trouble. He has a knack for knowing what the real problem is. Then we talk it out and he comforts me and I apologize and we pray about it and both leave happy and unscathed. This wouldn’t work if we did not both value honesty and desire to know each other better. I am so thankful for this man.