Through the Eyes of Mary Magdalene

As I read the gospel accounts of Easter week and studied a Bible commentary, Mary Magdalene stood out to me. I imagined her experience and felt her emotions along with her from despair to elation. As I journaled, God spoke personally and powerfully to me in a transformative way. Here, I have written out the holy week story from Mary’s point of view. Two years later, it still encourages me. I hope it encourages you too.

March 2021

As the disciples near Jerusalem, excitement stirs among the friends. They talk of the kingdom coming. Mary Magdalene wants to lean into their speculation, but she holds back, unconvinced. Mary is an observant nurturer. She has known Jesus’ needs and watched his moods. Lately, he seems troubled. She wonders, haven’t the others noticed his sorrowful demeanor? If he is heading toward kingship, why is he so burdened? 

However, as she joins the procession entering the city, surrounded by a praising crowd on a blue-sky day, the electric excitement edges out her timidity. “Maybe so, maybe so. Yes, it may be so,” she convinces herself as she passes cheerful faces and exchanges glances with jubilant disciples. Her hands go to her giggling mouth, “Yes it may be so!” What a thrill! She lets down her guard and on dancing feet, she enters Jerusalem. 

___

When Jesus went to the Mount of Olives to pray Thursday night, Mary was already in bed. A panicked disciple wakes her. “Jesus has been arrested!” Mary does not flee; she rushes to find Jesus. Panting she arrives at the high priest’s house but is unable to enter. She cannot see him. In great distress, she waits. What’s next? When will they release him?  

Later, she sees him in the public forum, battered, bound, silent. Her world is spinning. She tries to comfort the other women. She wants to comfort him as he has comforted her- she is a nurturer. But he is out of reach. Oh, this sickening separation is hard to bear. She will nurse his wounds when he is released. When will they release him? She wants to pray for that release, but when she mouths the prayers, she feels no peace in her spirit about the request. No. No. She holds the painful confusion like a big thing in her hands- where can I put this down? What do I do with this big, awful thing? 

A few voices in the courtyard grow to a mob, “Crucify Him! Crucify!” Shock. Mary can’t hear anything. Reeling, she watches. He is sentenced. She labors to breathe. Jesus knows where she is- he looks at her to comfort her, then he is led away. Fumbling, the women help one another as they follow the procession; they cross a path of dry palm branches left from their entry. Her feet are heavy on them, not dancing as the week before. 

At the crucifixion, she weeps out her entire self on the ground. She exhausts herself utterly and lies limp, sprawled like a wet mop. 

She watches from a distance as they lower his body, then she follows the men who carry him to the tomb. Weary as she is, she would stay at the tomb, but she pulls herself away to obey the Sabbath laws. 

___

On Sunday morning, Mary and the women plan on nurturing and honoring Jesus’ body with spices and oils. Mary is desperate for comfort; she longs to mourn beside him. She must get to him. Unable to wait for the others, she stands with her toes on the threshold watching for dawn. Then she is off.

She approaches the tomb, full of anticipation. But, to her horror, it is open! His body is gone! Who has taken him? In an adrenaline rush, she runs to the men, passing the women and telling them along the way. She bangs on doors to wake the hiding disciples. John and Peter rush to the tomb and Mary follows. She whispers, “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I…”, but she cannot finish the verse.

The men look and marvel and leave. She stays. She had planned to mourn beside him! But she is alone. She had planned to nurture and honor him! But his body is gone! She does not know where it is! Or how it is being treated! Oh anguish! This is worse than the terrible state she had prepared herself for. This could not be any worse. Has a human heart ever been heavier?

From a peak of excitement at the triumphal entry, Mary has toppled down a series of emotional cliffs: the arrest, the beatings, the sentence, the hill, his death, this tomb. Now, at the bottom of the gorge, she falls into a still deeper pit… His body is missing. Flat. 

Mary is desperate but exhausted with tears and sleeplessness. All around her is a blur. When she sees two angels, she cannot register it. When she sees the supposed gardener, she offers to carry Jesus’ heavy body away by herself. Then, Jesus’ voice,

“Mary.” 

Elation! Oh! Is there any adjective to describe the sudden height of her joy and depth of her peace?! What strength of love! Before she can comprehend, she believes. She embraces him sudden and tight, with her whole self and beyond herself with joy. And Jesus holds her back. “I’m here,” He whispers then chuckles, “You needn’t hold on so tight, Mary. I’m not going to disappear.” She laughs too and relaxes, comforted.

Has a human heart ever been happier? Mary has been lifted out of the gorge-bottom pit in a highspeed upward surge to a mountain top higher than triumphal entry excitement. He is alive!  

 

PERSONAL NOTE: The Expositor’s Bible Commentary suggests that Mary went to the tomb ahead of the other women, who planned to go at sunrise. She saw the open tomb and rushed to tell the disciples. Meanwhile, the other women saw the angels without her. Mary followed John and Peter back to the tomb, then lingered alone after the men left. Commentators suggest that when Jesus said, “Do not cling to me,” he meant that she needn’t hold on so tightly as if he would suddenly vanish. This explanation is very powerful for me. An animated film I watched as a child depicted Jesus saying, “Oh don’t touch me Mary,” when she tried to hug him, so she stepped back from him. I subconsciously accepted that scene and was always confused and deeply bothered by it. I would go so far as to say that, until a transformation I underwent in 2021, I expected Jesus to say the same to me when I felt strong emotions. How different that is from this comforting embrace, “I’m here. I have you. You can hold me and I will hold you too. I’m not abandoning you.” It’s so personal to me. I cry thinking of it. 

from my journal

 

NOTE ON IMAGINATING SCRIPTURE: Pastor Chuck Swindoll says, when reading the Bible. to “use your imagination to step into the story.” Author Brad Jersak instructs, “Ask the Lord to help you picture it. Look for colors, shapes and textures. Take note of the various characters and their actions. Where are you in the story? Where is Christ? Walk through the plot with him interacting as if you were there- because in some sense, you are.” You can imagine scenes from the Bible as you read. Personalize characters’ experiences, feeling their emotions and learning lessons alongside them. God can speak to you personally and powerfully through a story.

Journaling to Remember