Introduction: Shaping Family Culture One Habit at a Time

Children are a wonder. Their hearts are already inclined to drink deeply of knowledge and beauty and their hands are ready to take on new challenges. So, developing their curiosity and creativity is less like building from the ground up and more like nourishing what is already inside them.

In 2015, I made a long dreamy list of enriching skills to develop, lifelong habits to practice and beauty for my children to encounter. Then I set about instilling all of them at once.

I quickly found that, though the possibilities are endless, a momma’s capacity is limited. Unsurprisingly, my burst of optimistic inspiration was closely followed by flopping failure. In fact, I cried. I could not do it all at once!

In a mess of guilt and frustration, I brainstormed ways to take on these good goals effectively. I thought on the new habits I had successfully implemented in my own life- how had I done it? I had practiced them every day for an extended period until they became second nature. I recalled too that anytime I tried to achieve too many goals at the same time, I failed in all of them. Why did I expect a different outcome in my parenting?

I decided to focus my efforts on developing one skill or habit in my children every six months. Perhaps amid the daily juggle of schoolwork and laundry and cuddles, I could tackle just one of these noble goals at a time. So, I listed habits to foster, affections to steer, skills to practice and interests to explore. Then I put my list in priority order and charted a course to gradually establish each as part of our family culture.

I started our first focus unit when my oldest was in preschool. We went outside every day after breakfast for 180 days. And it was a success! In fact, the impact of that habit continues today- the kids still go outside every day unprompted. Other six-month habits have worked their way into our daily habits: They clean up after every meal and often help cook; they draw most afternoons with no prodding from me; they pretend together on a whim and tell stories off the cuff; they listen to me read aloud for long stretches. Had I tried to cultivate all these practices at once, we may never have done any. By this gentle method, we have gained much despite this momma’s very limited capacity.

Each post in this blog series features a different habit we have focused on. I explain why and how we implemented each then describe the fruit it has born in our family culture.

This series was printed in the Winnsboro News in Summer 2021.

Six Months Reading Aloud