An old friend sent a Facebook message today,
Hi Heather, Saw one of your posts and it made it sound like you weren’t homeschooling anymore! Is that true? And would love to hear what made your decision to transition. Thanks in advance.
Hi. I decided to plop my reply to my friend here on the blog. This is not a combed out eloquent post, because quite frankly, I don’t want to write one. So I’ll give you the message to a friend version. I do ask that if you are going to read any of it, you read the whole thing. Thanks.
Hi and yep! We put all 5 kids in a small school last year. Now we are in 3 schools- public middle school, 4-day Acton Academy and a 3-day Christian program.
There are two reasons we shifted. The gentle reason and the jolted reason. I’ll share both.
I knew exactly what I wanted for our elementary years- I had a philosophy and a dreamy plan and we did it! It was harder than I thought it’d be and it wasn’t perfect, but we became what I hoped we’d become through it. When we hit jr. high, I just couldn’t find the path- I kept waiting for inspiration and for the philosophy to develop but it wasn’t coming.
I prayed and sensed a whisper, “hey- you don’t have ideas because I’m not giving you ideas. I gave you the call and the plan last time. And now I’m not.” I remembered back to 2016, when I was drawing up the pillars of our homeschool when I sensed that our family would have two distinct seasons- a homebody books and nature quiet season and a more missional fellowshippy out-and-about family season. I realized that we were just in that transition. I saw that my younger two are so different from my older ones- like God knew they’d need to be outgoing social darlings to thrive.
At the same time the grace sorta lifted. I got stir-crazy and struggled with being disinterested and just being exhausted by homeschooling. It had never been easy, but it was no longer “healthy struggle.” I think there were a few reason for this.
One, my body sensed the transition before my mind knew. Two, my ideals (if attainable) were unsustainable. Teaching 6th grade writing with a toddler in your lap is hard. And I couldn’t keep the high standards I had set for myself. My serotonin was tanked and I could go no further. I should’ve carved out more alone time sooner or trained the kids to be quieter. Oh I was camp counselor mom and home was a party or a riot most of the time. I hit a wall of being overstimulated by it. I “fried my hard drive,” so to speak. Suddenly, all the spilt milk, squabbles and “how do you spell __” was more than I could handle. I became an elusive mom– not playing, not cuddling, not listening. Hiding from my kids instead of pursuing them. One morning, Chris found me crying in fetal position. Yah. That’s a sign.
So the husband initiated the search for schools (cus that’s what you do when you wife is curled up in a ball crying alone at 10am). But as we talked through the options, I began to realize that this was the right choice. Not just a dire choice or a way out, but the transition point that God was leading us through.
We did what we set out to do and the call was changing. I look around and we are all the things I hoped we’d be:
-We love nature and are outside all the time. They can identify birds and plants and grow things and take care of animals.
-They love to read. This summer they listened to audiobooks together while drawing, unprompted by me. They read a lot! And they write poems and plays and stories just for fun. Today, John typed and formatted a nonfiction booklet to illustrate. Nate wrote a (ridiculous) story and read it aloud to us.
-And they really have gotten very good at drawing! Love.
-They know how to be alone and each of them seeks out solitude without me reminding them. Near-daily, they make tea and sneak off to some nook or limb for some quiet space.
-They have neat hobbies. Libby bakes- she made homemade marshmallows this week as an experiment. They craft like clay and weave or knit or sew and paint and such. They put a bunch of art and crafty stuff int he county fair last week and got some ribbons. Sometimes they sell things they make. It’s pretty fun.
-We have family worship / “Bible time” and gratitude shout-outs every night still. We light candles and sing together. And we have great discussions about meaningful things at dinner and on walks.
-The kids are each so different. And they know who they are. They have interests and skills that they are pursuing on their own. They just do the cool ideas that pop into their heads whether that’s rebuilding a coop to hatch chicks, building bike ramps that scare me, growing a watermelon patch (John), inventively mixing art mediums, making up their own boardgames, writing a play and moving furniture to dance in the living room, baking wild new recipes (Libby) or spending 48 hrs outside and netting fish in the creek and cleaning and cooking them over a campfire themselves (Nate). I think that lifestyle came from the way we homeschooled for the past 7 years. So I am thankful.
We are still working on the arguing and complaining and cleaning and squabbling stuff. Oi. But generally they are pretty kind and somewhat responsible kids.
All that to say. We did what we set out to do. I hoped we’d become creative and curious and compassionate. And we are. We normalized some beautiful things and life-giving habits through homeschooling and I think it’s gonna stick, cus we will stay ourselves. Now the adventure is just different and still good.
Thanks for asking.
H
What have I been up to? Well, I took a “fallow fall” last year and read a ton. I’ve taken gardening up a notch. I sit still and quiet a lot. I’m on staff at the Fayetteville Prayer Room and will begin teaching some workshops plus the Journaling Course there in January. It is very fun season. https://www.instagram.com/heatherpaigehunt/