Many Christians settle for salvation, then wait for heaven. We read about the freedom and wholeness Jesus proclaims, and we dream about the peace and joy that scripture promises. But we experience little of it. We wonder silently, Is Jesus strong enough? Does God even see me? Am I the problem? In our uncertainty, we act a bit like fledglings and roly-polies.
THE SWALLOW: My parents live on 40 acres of forest and hay field. In the spring, barn swallows build mud nests along the porch ceiling. I walked outside one night to watch a lightning show and startled an already upset brood of fledglings. One leapt from the nest. Without night vision she could not find her way back. So she flapped up and down the wall in a panic, then panted on the floor. I wanted to put her back, but she flapped up and down the corner again, so I had to wait. Exhausted, she finally stopped and I was able to pick her up.
I cannot tell you how many times I have felt like that swallow fledgling. I’m dealing with a stressful situation or I’m triggered and reactive. Then I flap aimlessly around my kitchen for an hour or a month until I am emotionally exhausted. All along, I avoid God who is waiting for me to let Him pick me up and help me.
Have you ever felt that way? You yearn to feel protected and safe like the Psalmist sings. You wonder how to “find rest for your soul.” But you don’t know where to start. You never built the habit and, besides, you’re scared. What if God proves untrustworthy?
THE ROLYPOLY: Other times, I feel like a roly-poly in the garden bed, rolling into an armored ball at a moment’s notice. I can crawl along contentedly until,
- my journal entry touches a hard memory or buried longing
- a friend tries to take a conversation to a deep place
- my daughter is staring at me over that scheduled cup of tea and I want to connect, but don’t know how
- the topic of beauty comes up at all anywhere ever.
Deep down, I want to go there and be vulnerable. But I lock up. I shake my head and shut my journal or I whip out my phone to cope with the discomfort. I long for it, yet I run from it. Outwardly, I remain calm (unlike the panicked fledgling), but my heart is sealed for self-protection and I go no farther.
Does that resonate? You want to receive the affirmation you used to believe in and feel truly known by God and friends. But you don’t know where to start. What if you just feel exposed and alone? Again and again, you reflexively close up.
The human heart naturally longs for freedom and fights surrender. But the two are linked. In my experience, freedom comes through surrender. And surrender comes through trust.
WHERE TO START: Fulfillment of this longing does not start with us. God is the initiator.
I have observed that God often gives divine revelation while we are worshipping or spending time in solitude. He says, “Hey, this is who I am. This is what I am like.” He reveals, “I love you more than you imagined. I am mightier than you comprehend. I am completely trustworthy.”
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So, revelation leads to trust. In trust, we can cease our anxious flapping and dare to let God hold us.
Trust leads to vulnerability. Once God proves Himself trustworthy, we can finally unroll the armor and let Him see our beautiful hopes, our hard memories and our messy emotions.
Vulnerability leads to surrender. When our vulnerability is met with God’s unconditional love, acceptance and encouragement, we learn to desire surrender.
Surrender leads to healing. As we gradually surrender the fears, wounds, motives, habits, idols and beliefs we’ve clung to, God sets to healing our hearts. In so doing. One by one, He breaks off strongholds we didn’t even know we had and replaces them with peace and joy.
Healing leads to freedom. As God heals us from the inside out, our longings are fulfilled. Finally, we believe that we are the King’s beloved. He affirms us truly purely deeply and He makes us whole. We find the confidence we lost and the free-spiritedness we’ve always wanted. Through healing, Christ brings the wholeness, freedom and abundant life that He promises in scripture.
This transformation is a miracle God is waiting to work in every Christian heart. It is not a quick-fix answer because God is patient and wise. He takes His time. We are complex beings- there are many layers and facets to entrust. When we ask for His gift of revelation and create space to receive it, God will answer. So, shy as you may feel, Ask.
The truth is that God is enamored with you. He is waiting to comfort you and encourage you and reveal His great strength and deep love to you. He is eager to know you and hold you and cherish you and heal your hurts. He is so trustworthy. God is strong enough and interested enough to hold your emotions. Even the best parents couldn’t because they are limited, but that is not a reflection of God. You do not have to worry that you are too much for him or that He is too busy for you or too bored with you. He is very interested and very able.
With your trustworthy God, you don’t have to flap in panic or roll into an armored ball, when trouble comes. You can open up at rest in His hand. So, ask Him to initiate.
WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL: Lord, I trust you. I believe You are mightier and more loving than I can comprehend. I believe that you are big enough and interested enough to hold my emotions. You are the one who formed my inward parts; you chose my gifts and talents. You know my anxious thoughts; you see my past sins and future endeavors. You are eager to forgive all and share deeply with me, ready to encourage my longing heart. This is not a scary position, it’s a no-defenses, restful place, fully known and fully loved. I invite you to soften my heart. I ask you to reveal yourself to me more and more. I ask too that you would reveal things that you want me to surrender to you, so that I can walk in the freedom you have prepared for me, for my good and Your glory.
Amen.
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So good Heather!!!