Dad’s top answer to my curious-kid questions was “to make you ask questions.” I may have actually believed that God made the sky blue so that I would ask why. He would turn my books upside down, put my little brother’s pants on backwards, sneak buttermilk into our breakfast glasses and sing old Roger Miller songs. When we asked Dad, “Are we there yet?” he’d answer, “Of course we aren’t there. You’re always here; you’re never there.” Now, I love hearing him repeat his silly sayings and songs to his grandchildren. I will probably post wise words from my dad sometime, but here are a few favorite funny ones.
To “Where’d you find it?” He replies, “I found it in the last place I looked.”
To “I can’t fix it,” he says, “That’s because you’re not holding your tongue right.”
“I will be back when I return.”
“Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better best.”
“I was lookin’ back to see if you were lookin’ back to see if I was lookin’ back to see if you were lookin’ back at me.”
When I woke up, he’d serenade, “Good morning to you. Good morning to you. You look like a monkey and you smell like one too.”
Putting on my shoes he’d sing, “Put your little foot. Put your little foot. Put your little foot right here.”
“I just know that Heather knows that Heather knows that Heather knows that Heather knows she has a nose in the middle of her face.”
“I’d rather have fingers than toes. I’d rather have eyes than a nose. My face I don’t mind it because I am behind it. That man in the front gets the jar.”
“If it wasn’t so late, it would be earlier.”
“Coulda. Shoulda. Woulda.”
“I will gladly give you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”
