Do you have an annual rhythm? Maybe you make bucket lists and keep traditions. Maybe you work harder, play more or rest deeper in different seasons. Or maybe your months all look alike. Years back, I wrote a journaling guide for finding an annual rhythm. In this post, I’d like to share our rhythm from Thanksgiving to New Years because I have grown to love it so much.
Here in America, the Christmas celebration starts early. But according to the ancient church calendar, the weeks before Christmas day are not a time of rejoicing, but a time of sacred waiting. Shortly after Thanksgiving, the four Sundays of Advent begin. During Advent, Christians remember the years of waiting for the Messiah and watch for His return. Advent is to Christmastide as Lent is to Eastertide- it’s the quiet stillness before the dawn, the calm before the jubilation, the fasting before the feast. For our family, Advent has become an annual sabbath and bookends to our years.
I can no longer imagine Christmastime without the beauty and ache of Advent: Our simple stillness ushers peace into our home, which we need greatly by year’s end. Our humble waiting honors Christ, which is mysteriously satisfying. And the waiting makes celebrating the 12 Days of Christmas all the sweeter for both our fun and our faith! After restful Advent comes merry Christmastide! Then, as our celebratory mood tapers into contentment, we can prepare for the year ahead, rejuvenated.
In this post, I will simply list our favorite December traditions in order. I am not a purist—our rhythm is influenced by the church calendar, American traditions and, admittedly, the secular Little Book of Hygge because, as Nate Bargatze jests, “the whole yuletide season has a very Scandinavian vibe.” And I am not too strict—observing Advent doesn’t have to be a hard-and-fast all-or-nothing decision. As with salads and exercise, a lot may be best but a little is better than nothing. Purists would set up the tree on Christmas Eve, but if I tried that I would have rebellion on my hands. Strictly speaking, Advent should end on Christmas Day… but we shift early when we drive to Texas to see family. “Sabbath is made for man, not man for the sabbath.”
ADVENT: Advent technically begins four Sundays before Christmas, but we get in the Advent mood once our Thanksgiving leftovers run out. I like to finish all my Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving, then limit the number of activities we say yes to during Advent. We become homebodies in December and spend a lot of evenings reading and listening to music on the couch with a fire in the fireplace.
Banister Lights: Before Thanksgiving, we wrap the banister and staircase in warm white Christmas lights. It feels like candlelight in the living room every evening.
Candles, Scripture & Song: Each night, we light the Advent candle(s), pray the antiphons, read from the Book of Common Prayer and sing a waiting song from our hymnal.
Scripture readings during Advent focus on Messianic prophecies from the Old Testament and prophecies and parables about Christ’s return. We light an additional candle every Sunday until the wreath is fully lit. The first week, we sing O Come Emmanuel. The second, we sing Come Thou Long Expected Jesus. By the third week, we start mixing in other solemn Christmas hymns like What Child is This, O Holy Night and Silent Night, etc. (We save the jovial songs for Christmastide).
Food: During Advent, we limit our sugar intake to the two feast days and I do not drink alcohol. We are not overly strict about it—if a friend offers us dessert, we eat it. But generally, we do not eat sweets until Christmas.
Feast Days: We celebrate two feast days before Christmas Eve. Feast Days are island celebrations amid the quiet of Advent— on these special days, we can eat sweets (and we enjoy them more for it)!
St. Nicolas Day on Dec. 6: At our house, Santa Claus comes on Dec 6 instead of Christmas Day. We read about the real Saint Nicolas and make Christmas cookies with our stash of cookie cutters and sprinkles. Santa fills the kids’ stockings with arts supplies for the year: new colored pencils, sewing needles, yarn, sharpies, scissors, sharpeners, modge podge, hot glue sticks and other things my kids use often. He brings Hobby Lobby Christmas crafts and ornaments as well as a candy cane, gold coin chocolates and a new game to share. The kids also do their sibling secret Santa drawing on St. Nicolas Day.
St. Lucia’s Day on Dec. 13: Lucia means light and JBU perfectly times it’s annual Candlelight Service this weekend, so we I take a few big kids to the service. On St. Lucia’s day, we read about Saint Lucia, bake treats and drink hot chocolate.
Crafts: The kids make crafts for extended family. They draw, paint, sew, knit, mold clay or whittle gifts. They also make the holiday crafts that Santa brought. Crafting is a perfect activity for quiet nights at home by the fire.
Books: We have collected an apple crate’s worth of Christmas picture books over the years and delight in reading them aloud to one another! Read Aloud Revival has a wonderful booklist. We also listen to The Christmas Carol and The Best Christmas Pageant Ever on audiobook nearly every year.
Music: We start the season off listening to Cambridge Kings College Choir, Handel’s Messiah, and Poor Bishop Hooper’s new As Foretold. Then we inch our way into mellow music like Sara Groves, Josh Garrels, Enya, Sufjan Stevens, Celtic Woman, the Nutcracker and The Rabbit Room’s Advent playlist. By St. Lucia’s Day, we slide into songs by The Petersons, Arcadian Wild, The Rat Pack classics, etc. I’m not too strict, but generally, we save the jovial songs for Christmas.
Movies: There are too many Christmas movies to cram into 12 days and like I said, I’m not too strict. We love watching The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, The Nutcracker, The Star, Muppets Christmas Carol, Little Women, Miracle on 34th Street, Polar Express, Charlie Brown and the claymation oldies.
Pageant: On or near Christmas Eve, the kids reenact the nativity (preferably with cousins). They hang a sheet over a shower rod in the wide living room doorframe and make sets and costumes, playing multiple roles each and mixing in some comedy! We sing carols between scenes.
Jesus’ Birthday Present: Around the Advent candles, we open picture Bibles to the nativity. Our younger children retell Christ’s birth story, then an older child reads Matthew 25:34-40 aloud. There, Jesus teaches that giving water or food or clothing to those in need is giving it to Him. So, we choose a present for Jesus from the Samaritan’s Purse catalog, sing and blow out the candles. We have given ducks, goats, soccer balls, vaccines and water. More here.
CHRISTMASTIDE: Christmastide is a time of rejoicing, feasting and merry-making!
Church: New Heights has an annual Christmas Eve night worship celebration! We sing, dance, drink hot chocolate and fellowship!
Candles, Scripture & Song: Joy to the World, the Lord Has Come! Finally, it is time to sing jubilant Christmas songs! We light the big white Christmas candle in the middle of the Advent wreath and continue praying antiphons and reading scriptures from the Book of Common Prayer. Technically, you are supposed to light candles and sing until epiphany on January 6, but we usually stop on New Years.
Gifts: We give the kids gifts and fill their stockings. They do a secret santa exchange together and fill our stockings with little gifts, our favorite candies and some crafts.
Food: The Twelve Days of Christmas (Dec 25 – Jan 6) is the long-awaited feast. It’s time to eat a lot of yummy food and treats! These days are all the sweeter for having waited to celebrate.
Gingerbread Houses: Since Mother Ginger is a character from the Land of of Sweets, we turn on the Nutcracker film while we build a snowy village. We use graham crackers instead of gingerbread, white icing and a bunch of little candies. Then, of course, we eat it.
Nutcracker Day: This is a positively absurd sweet feast! The kids perform dances from the Nutcracker Suite’s Land of Sweets in exchange for each treat! For Spanish Chocolate, we find Spain on the map, dance to its song and make hot cocoa. For the Russian Candy Canes, we dance wildly twice (once to the original song and once to Mannheim Steamroller’s version), find Russia on the map and stir our cocoa with peppermint sticks. Last year, Libby made Turkish Marzipan, but usually they dance (girls only on this one) and toss marshmallows into their cups instead. Mother Ginger is the most creative and funny dance- one kid stands on a stool wrapped in sheets while “the polichinelles” run in and out from under the “skirt,” then if there are any graham crackers left, we eat some. Last is Arabian Coffee and Chinese Tea. We dance both dances, find the countries on the map and choose between coffee or tea. This tradition usually collapses into noisy chaos at the end. Too much sugar. But it is worth it.
Christmas Mad Libs: These fill-in-the-blank books are hilarious.
Outings: We go to the local town square for the Christmas lights and ice skating. Some years, we drive to Silver Dollar City!
Music, Movies and Books: We watch a couple movies a day, play games, listen to the celebratory songs and read. The days run together and we don’t mind a bit.
NEW YEARS WEEK: Midway through Christmastide, our celebratory mood tapers into contentment and our thoughts turn to the year ahead. This week has become a kind of bookend to our years, holding both reflection on what lies behind and anticipation of what is to come.
Reflection: Before I dream, I like to pause and prayerfully reflect on the previous year. I brain dump in my journal and pray through many of the emotions I felt in the past 12 months. As I do, God leads me through entries of gratitude and grieving. I identify beauty from the year, thank him, and rejoice. I let myself notice the failures and feel the disappointments. I repent and release burdens, then let God comfort me and bless me. This is a pivotal practice for me every year. It takes days.
Releasing: After I remember the year behind, my thoughts naturally turn to the year ahead. In my journal, I do my annual backpack sort, considering which activities, plans, cares and expectations to carry into the new year and which to release. I place some in God’s keeping and obey Him by tossing others away.
Monastery: Chris and I take turns giving one another two nights at Subiaco Monastery. He watches the kids while I go the last week of December and I watch the kids when He goes the first week of January. At Subiaco, we pray the hours with the monks and spend long stretches in solitude. We align our hearts with the Holy Spirit and enjoy resting alone and quiet in His presence.
Dreaming: After the monastery stay, we are ready to dream about the year ahead. In my journal, I take a birds-eye view envisioning opportunities for my marriage, children, work, community, habits and hobbies. Then I hone in to consider possibilities. I zoom out for ideas on how to train up our children and zoom in for ways to connect with each child individually. I zoom out by considering concepts to study this year and zoom in by making booklists. I zoom out regarding how I want to grow this year and zoom in by naming habits to build or drop. I zoom out for overarching initiatives I’d like to work on, then zoom in to plan. I also list my simple joys for winter. As I go, I submit the work of my hands to the Lord.
Spring Cleaning: By January 4, I get an urge to purge. Chris becomes Mr. Fix It and the kids and I deep clean the house. We put away the decorations January 7, the day after Epiphany (commemorating the wise men’s visit). These tasks springboard us into the next season of good hard work.
Advent, solemn and verging on melancholy, prepares our hearts for jubilant Christmas. And Christmas feasting and rest rejuvenates our bodies for the year ahead. I have grown to love this life-giving part of our annual rhythm. Thanks for letting me share it with you.
If you live in NWA, the Fayetteville Prayer Room will be hosting an Advent Workshop on December 6 at 9am. Join us.
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